About Me

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I'm currently teaching English in Japan and traveling when I can. I don't want to forget anything. So, I try to blog. This is my life.

Sunday, May 24, 2009

A quick catch up

My apologies for the lack of blogging lately. I have just been so busy and so tired! Things have been going well though. I took my kids to the aquarium this past week and it was a blast! We first went out on a boat and fed these huge birds as they flew along next to our boat. You could hold out this puff snack and they would come snatch it right from your fingers! Um, I kinda am honestly afraid of birds. But, I did it for my kids. I didn't quite hold it out for birds, I just threw mine. But, I stood next to the kids for moral support while they held theirs out and acted like it was no big thing. Whereas on the inside there was a bit of panic the whole time! I survived. My kids were so well behaved in the aquarium, too. They really really enjoyed it!

I really do love my class. I feel like I have a handle on this whole teaching thing finally. I can control my class, I can let them act silly and still get them back under control pretty easily. I have been having issues with one little boy. He tends to use his hands on other kids and doesn't always say the nicest things. I've had a couple of parents complain about him, so it is a bit of an issue, but I hope I am handling it the best that I can. I had our head teacher (kinda like a vice-principal or something in the States) come in and talk to the class about how we should treat our friends and she talked to the boy as well. Once parents start complaining it becomes a much bigger deal. They handle discipline here a bit differently than I am used to, but..that's okay.

This week, my heart just broke for one of my little boys. A couple of weeks ago, he told me a secret that his mom was pregnant. I talked to her after class and she said that it was too early and they weren't really telling anyone. She said they told him not to tell anyone but he begged her to be able to tell me so she told him he could. He was SO excited about it. She was excited too, but cautious because she wasn't very far along yet at all. Well, Wednesday I got word that she started bleeding Tuesday and was in the hospital for a few days. Due to lack of communication we aren't sure if she lost the baby or not, but I would assume she did. The little boy in my class was so sad. He didn't talk about it at all, but I could just tell. It really, really broke my heart- for the little boy as well as the mom.

We have interns here now. They help out in our classes during stations, lunch, and playtime pretty much. I guess they are supposed to do office work for us too, which will be nice when I finally take advantage of that. (I mean that in the nicest way possible..)
I can NOT believe it is the last week of May. Time is flying by. We start the next level tomorrow. We go through 10 levels a year, so I am kind of 1/10 of the way through the year. Except the first level lasted about 2 weeks longer than all of the other levels will, so even more than 1/10!

I bought my plane ticket home for Christmas tonight! I am so excited about coming home. I was going to wait and see if I was going to stay a 2nd year, but I honestly just don't think I can NOT be home for Christmas. Plus, I got a really good deal on my ticket. I also am going to Australia in August! I can't believe it! My best friend Sarah and I bought tickets. We will be going to Cairns- bunjee jumping, sleeping in the rainforest, snorkeling in the Great Barrier Reef, etc! I am soooo excited! Our friend from college is coming out here in September. My mom is coming in October. And then I will be home for Christmas. It all seems so far away, yet so close!

Overall, things are going okay here. Sometimes it is more of a struggle than others. Working at least 10 hour days most days, without a break, really drains you after a while. I feel like I waste my weekends because all I want to do is..nothing. I need to force myself to get out and do things. It probably doesn't help that I got wrapped up in the Twilight series!! I am on the last book though, so hopefully I will be able to pull myself away from my apartment next weekend!

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Turning 25

I have thought about writing a blog several times over the last couple days but just haven't gotten around to it. I should have lots to write about. Tokyo, people in my classroom watching me teach. But, I think I will have to save that for another blog.

I have been thinking a lot lately about how much I have changed in the past few months. I feel like I have grown so much, and I feel like I am starting to understand myself a little more than I ever have. I have realized things about myself and my life that have made me the way that I am. I realized some of the reasons why I don't very easily or very often really let people in. I realize that my relationship with God has been so surface level for most of my life, and I know some of the reasons why that is now. God has been working in my life and in my heart so much lately. I don't understand what he is doing, or what he has for me, but I am truly learning what it means to trust him above all else. It's certainly not always easy, and sometimes I just want things the way that I want them still, but I know that there is a purpose far beyond me.

I will be 25 in one hour. Well, in Japan at least. Maybe it's just the getting older-ness that has gotten to my brain.. but, I truly feel just a little bit wiser than I think I was a couple of years ago. I feel like I have a better grasp on myself, the things that I want and don't want, and the reasons why I am the way that I am. I know that there is still so much to learn, and so many things to work on in myself, but at least I am not blind to it anymore.

I have no idea what my future holds. And I mean..NO idea. I'm not one of those people that has a clear life long calling, or a passion to do one thing for the rest of their life. I'm a teacher right now, but I don't even know if I would want to do that for the rest of my life. I thought I had a plan, but God showed me that sometimes (okay, most of the time) our plans are not HIS plans. And, well, HIS plans are really the only ones that matter. I am just trying to trust that He knows what is best for me, and that He will let me in on it when the time is right. It's certainly not easy, because I really am a planner. It's a constant battle to not worry or be anxious about what is supposed to happen next. Like I said, he is teaching me to trust without understanding. And that is such a hard thing for me to do.